Keep feeling better and better, who would have thunk it! I’m still not proficient at meal planning/recipes but to be honest I haven’t put a whole lotta work into it, so that explains that. I’m just going with it and eating what I have in the house. Adding to my ‘plate’ yet another task to conquer, re: vegetarian or in my current case vegan cook, is not on the agenda. Giving up my pain pills, doing yoga 7 days a week and do a 10 day cleanse is good for now. All is well and for this I couldn’t be more grateful.
~Application & Remembrance~ Cleanse Day Four March 30, 2012
Woke today with NO HEADACHE! In spite of this I felt quite blah. The weather continues to be shitty and grey, which doesn’t help. I laid around in bed for a while, which probably wasn’t the best idea since this always just deepens the blah’s. I read in one of the Ayurvedic books that when one awakes, they should get up right away. I’m thinking this is good advice, so that the day and all that goes on in it, doesn’t appear to be so ‘much’. As I began to physically get up, I heard the dogs barking and E. coming into the kitchen to do some juicing. Again tasted great, he even made some for my daughter and her friend who slept over..LOVE LOVE this MAN ( my husband approves:) I went to Yoga KYMA and then straight to my cleaning gig for 3 hours. I noticed I was feeling a bit light-headed at one point near the end, so I sat and drank a bit of water and breathed. Need to do better food management here. Finished it off the job and did a few more errands. This was my first day of really ‘doing stuff’, since we have been on Spring Break the last 10 days and on the cleanse. One of my concerns was whether I could ‘function’ in my normal day-to-day life, while feeling….different. The more I thought about this, ‘feeling different’, the more I began to realize that I am experiencing myself in a whole new way. Yes I was healthy at one point in my life, but I am no longer THAT person. Now I am 42 with children and diseases. Even so, I can’t help wondering if this ‘newness’ I am experiencing with the daily Yoga and now with this pure eating, is not maybe the ‘healthy gal’ I’ve dreamt and thought of for many years now? Hokey? Maybe, but I am a true believer in listening to my instincts and inner voice. “You are more than what you have become; This haunting message is starting to possibly ring true.
It’s either this or a major lack of sugar and caffeine, time will tell.
Company Yahoo! (339 Days To Go….) March 29, 2012
~11:45am~Physio Logic Fusion~
I don’t mind been alone, as time goes on I seem to like it more and more. Doing what I’m doing each day can be lonely, in the me vs. my goals scenerio, but mostly I feel fine. I wish on many a day that my husband was here, since he is my bestest friend and a great listener. He knows me well, so if I’m crapping on myself ( which I tend to do regularly ), he is the one to pipe up and say ‘Stop It’! Today I had the pleasure of having my greatest girlfriend come to Yoga with me. It was really nice and comforting. I love her dearly so it was really awesome to share my home away from home with her. This class I tend to struggle in for whatever reason. Today, like yesterday I felt that I made headway, despite flubbing a bit here and there ( this due to not been at the front of the class where I usually am, and where I can see). Not drinking coffee seems to make it a tad easier to stay focused I’ve noticed, which is odd isn’t it? I thought coffee is suppose to help one concentrate better? Huh. It was good to have a partner in class, something I hope to have more of…hint hint S:)
I always look forward to this class, which is why I’m bummed out now. I’m beginning to feel that I need to do daily meditation in order to keep my grumpiness at bay. It’s not just about this, its more about achieving a stronger center, a calmness. Above and beyond changing up my eating ways and strengthening & healing my body, I need to calm my mind. Going within, makes the outside world easier to deal with, that and my teenage son. I would like to find a place where my ego is not always winning and jumping to the head of every annoying confrontation. I always walk away feeling like the world’s worst Mother. Since there is no magic pill,that I know of, I need to build up my internal strength, to the point that it is stronger than my default foe a.k.a my ego.
The first part of the class was great, I moved freer than ever, though had to be reminded to keep my eyes closed so as to make the practice deeper. As soon as we finished our loosey goosey dance and laid down in shavasana, Serg explained that today’s guided mediation was going to be interesting. Instead of himself or his partner doing the guided part, we were going to listen to an audio version. The purpose of this meditation was to guide us to the place and time where we had felt valued by others and so on. Problem, my lower back started to ache and sting something fierce. I tried to adjust myself so to help relieve the pain, but no such luck. I may ask if I can sit up against the wall as an option next time, so I can enjoy the experience. I left before the circle talk experience happened, and came home feeling cheated. Damm Back.
As I felt myself waking up this morning, I braced for the continuation of headache-land, where I have been living the last 48 hours. Thankfully it has eased up a bit, though was still somewhat present. The phone rang and it was E. calling to see if I wanted to do some juicing. Yup let’s do it! I replied. Soon after I was down in the kitchen peeling away, enjoying the process of making this fresh and healthy drink. This time we added some pineapple….lordy lordy it tasted good. My good friend Sharon was coming with me today to Yoga which was exciting. It was a really good class and I felt I improved a bit. My spirits were higher today I must admit, so too was the light at the end of the now, not so long tunnel. After Yoga we came back to my house and had lunch. S. eats very healthy normally, so it was not a hard sell with my offerings of E’s. wonderfully made food. We had coconut rice, Dahl ‘stuff’ and did some more juicing. S. suggested we add lemon, which we did and it was great. I have to go to do some work tomorrow so I’m hoping my energy picks up a bit. Today I felt lighter, though made the mistake of looking in the mirror to see my body looking the same. Smack Smack!! Fuck Off Ego, go away, and so I returned to that which never steers me wrong, my inner voice a.k.a
Why’s (340 Days To Go…) March 28, 2012
~11:45~Physio Logic Lower Back~
Good class today, never a bad thing to work on my lower back. Other than my upper back area ( need to ask what’s this is called ), which has been quite sore the last week, my only other complaint has been my lower back. My instinct is telling me that it is part of this process of healing my body and getting in shape. I feel with each class I’m inching, and I mean INCHING, towards improving my overall ability in Yoga. I’m envisioning the day when I can successfully do ALL the poses and what that will feel like. There’s really no way, I’ve come to realize, to get one’s self in better shape/health wise, then to really seriously go for it. I have tried many many times to achieve these goals, but for whatever reasons, I just never could attain any measure of success. I don’t really understand what happened this time to make all of this work for me. To a certain extent, its effortless. Yes the classes can be difficult, not drinking a lovely glass of organic red wine each eve especially is tough, but ‘something’ else seems to be creating an ease. Why now, WHY NOT! some voice jumps in and responds. Suppose I don’t need to figure EVERYTHING out always, maybe in time or when I enter the pearly gates I’ll find out, maybe I just grew the frig up!
Regardless of all the why’s, I am beyond grateful
Not having a good day, horrible horrible headache. It feels like my brain has been squeezed. super grumpy as well. thankfully I have Physio Logic today, don’t know if I could do anything else. Still on track with the cleanse. only good thing to report is that I don’t have any cravings, well except for this f#*king headache to go away. It gets to me when I am trying to do things to be and feel better and in the process have to feel shitty. not making sense, I feel super hazy. soldier on I shall. Today I did so more shopping got some peppermint tea, a schwack of beets and carrots. E. was with me which was good, he’s fun to shop with a really funny dude. I realized my children needed food as well! I got them ironically what I call ‘lazy food’. I seriously have no energy these last two days to cook, like I normally do. We came home after the shop and juiced a bunch of carrots and beets and it tasted awesome, so this perked me up a bit. Wish it wasn’t so friggin grey and gloomy out, it adds to the whole ‘not feeling groovy’ theme these days.
that is all