KYMA~ 11:45am~ March 10th~ Yoga Public
Enticing title I know, but nothing could be closer to the truth! Today at Yoga I went to my second KYMA class. I purposely arrive a bit early for I appreciate the opportunity to lay in shavasana a.k.a A really really comfortable resting pose, prior to class starting. Today I was running late and was stressed, for I sensed that this week’s class would be busier, and so it was, upon my arrival. Thankfully I was able to nab the last spot. One of the aspects I love about the teachers at Yoga Public is how they prep the room for the students. In this particular class, everything one needs is laid out prior to our arrival. The ambiance is very much in balance with this particular class, as everyone is positioned in a circle, with a ‘lotus’ style flower in the middle, made from the ‘egg’ props that are sometimes used/available for peeps like me. After last class, I wept when my time came to discuss how I felt about my experience.:
It began with a VERY VERY clear vision of my Mother appearing above me. I had not ‘seen’ her face in my mind, for a long long time (she died when I was 17 yrs. old). She didn’t ‘speak’ to me per se, but did send me a ‘message’ and this was: “Good for You ‘Nanny’, Good for You”. I haven’t heard my nickname “Nanny” for well over 25+ years. After soaking in this moment, I thought “she’s right, this is good for me”, what I’ve decided to take on, flushing the pain meds, doing the Yoga each day, Blogging, it’s all GOOD FOR ME. I felt this massive amount of ‘knowing energy’ with the notion that, maybe by doing this I am breaking a cycle, one in which my daughter will not have to endure? I realize it sounds very “Hallmark cardish”, but it was real and true to me, which ultimately is what counts in all of this. I expressed myself alright, but not with words, mostly with ugly crying. It was and is significant for despite knowing ‘technically’ what my Mother died of, namely breast cancer, I’ve always felt truthfully, that it was more from a long history of not looking after herself, + never letting it all out….emotionally speaking. Many of us have a very hard time doing this, for one reason or another. Mothers especially ‘use’ the excuse that the children, husband, animals etc… need to come first, for this is what ‘good’ mother’s do, right? Well I saw first hand with my Mother what it did to her, and sadly what it has done to me. Truth be told, there’s been a whole lotta martyr-ing going on, and this I believe is the first step in ridding myself of MISTAKE #1, and that is to STOP LYING TO MYSELF. If I’m going to better myself physically why not do it with all my ‘luggage’ as well? A Bullshit Cleanse, if you will. The excuses, the woes-mees, all of it, needs to be for now, left at the door. Going to this kind of class really, gently pushes away/ brings up, the pain without judgment, which I very much appreciate.
I understand, everyone has their ‘time’, when they feel they are ready for a change in their lives. In my case it seemed I was never ready, especially when I was feeling hyper and built it up, or when I set a date to begin or end some bad habit. This time there has been no extreme anything, I didn’t even know it was happening, this beginning, though I know it has begun to happen as it was supposed to; I feel, and now know, officially, I am ready.
So here I was today, entering into this safe, comfy and ‘knowing world’. Going to this beautiful, thoughtful class, which brings me needed peace, reassurance and the faith that all- ULTIMATELY – is going to be o.k…. The KYMA class is structured so far, in two parts. The initial thirty minutes or so, is spent with ‘awakening’ our bodies to movement and gentle pounding of our tummies, limbs etc.. with our fists and open hands and fingers. Then a full-out ‘dance party’ is had: We move and groove to great rhythmic music with the feeling that ‘its all good, no worries about looking goofy, here it just doesn’t matter. Once done, we are asked to lay down in shavasana, with the supplied blanket and an eye ‘bean bag’. From this point, its travel time, with the sounds of the universe ( a recording by NASA ) gently pumping throughout the room. This in itself is awesome, for I can appreciate why they chose this sound; It really got ‘inside’ of me and helped with the initial preparation of getting ready for ‘flight’. Our other teacher, in his lovely accent, then guided us through the rest of the class. Upon coming ‘back down’, we again briefly shared with the class what our experience was, how we felt etc.. Mine centered mostly around sensation and visuals; Energy was shooting out from either sides of my waist, at one point, to all the people in the room with me. I also had a wonderful visit with the old beautiful tree we were asked to in-vision. For every inhale, I witnessed my breath going inside of the tree, which I was leaning on. My exhale, came from the energy of the tree, releasing itself thru me. Lastly, after we were guided to our hearts, where I sent out mass love and peace to my children and husband.
Not bad for a Friday at lunchtime eh?
Wonderful wonderful it was, so terribly grateful I am to be able to experience this each week. I officially was set up, after class, with my year membership. I have dated Yoga for a brief period, this is true, but feel strongly that I can commit and am determined to make it work! I checked with my husband and he’s cool with it:)
It took two wonderful Frenchmen to help me relax and to them both I say…
P.s Pain….no where in sight for hours after this one:)