I always look forward to this class, which is why I’m bummed out now. I’m beginning to feel that I need to do daily meditation in order to keep my grumpiness at bay. It’s not just about this, its more about achieving a stronger center, a calmness. Above and beyond changing up my eating ways and strengthening & healing my body, I need to calm my mind. Going within, makes the outside world easier to deal with, that and my teenage son. I would like to find a place where my ego is not always winning and jumping to the head of every annoying confrontation. I always walk away feeling like the world’s worst Mother. Since there is no magic pill,that I know of, I need to build up my internal strength, to the point that it is stronger than my default foe a.k.a my ego.
The first part of the class was great, I moved freer than ever, though had to be reminded to keep my eyes closed so as to make the practice deeper. As soon as we finished our loosey goosey dance and laid down in shavasana, Serg explained that today’s guided mediation was going to be interesting. Instead of himself or his partner doing the guided part, we were going to listen to an audio version. The purpose of this meditation was to guide us to the place and time where we had felt valued by others and so on. Problem, my lower back started to ache and sting something fierce. I tried to adjust myself so to help relieve the pain, but no such luck. I may ask if I can sit up against the wall as an option next time, so I can enjoy the experience. I left before the circle talk experience happened, and came home feeling cheated. Damm Back.