Gotta love themes, more important or impressive is in the actual witnessing of them. Stop and starts are one of the many themes in my life, especially now as I have become side~tracked by acute…… yada yadas. This last month there has been a smorgesbord of ass~ whippins given to me, I’ve got the marks to prove it. Current ailment activity…dislodged disc, very sore right shoulder..getting checked out tomorrah. Yoga has been on my mind but sadly not with my body.
As soon as I’m down my mind begins to quiver, though the beauty, one of many, is that the Yoga I have practiced thus far, seems ready to jump in as a default. Default to what?
Well, it goes it little something like this:
My norm during downtimes has been similar to this equation =sum ( pain + immobility= dd) a.k.a deep depression. Appreciate that the times I have sunk back down below, this subtle default has been present, like a big breath gently pushing me back up to the surface. Having these down times, both literally and figuratively, illustrates to me two things; One: I am still not free from all that ails me ( physically & emotionally ) and Two: the work that I do in my practice is vitally important to continue on with, for it is where my~self and freedom lies. I also feel blessed with no longer having the fear that I will quit what it is that I have started. My ego is still in the race, fucker, but even when I’m down, I now know I’m not beat. There are very few guarantees in life, though I feel confident in saying aloud that the ‘Refresh’ button has been hit and with it some new functions which are now, thankfully part of my recovery plan.
During these last few weeks I’ve been given a glimpse of where I’m at and most importantly where I no longer fear to tread. My faith and belief in this widely desirable sense of power and grace, truly spurs me on to see what will be in store for me next. I accept these times now, where my body says No! for how can I NOT respect this amazing specimen of mine, which has worked so hard to get me from a life in bed to a life of mobility?
Going to try to go for a short walk now, with the hopes of making it to Yin tonight.
Pain in my right shoulder became unbearable, went to doctor today and found out it is tendonitis, was told to stop doing Yoga….